Taylor Swift is talking about her struggles with an eating disorder for the very first time. The 30-year-old pop star made the confession during her new documentary, Miss Americana, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival on Thursday, January 24, and hits Netflix on Friday, January 31.
In the film, the “Speak Now” singer said, “It’s not good for me to see pictures of myself every day.” She explained that in the past she had seen “a picture of me where I feel like I looked like my tummy was too big, or… someone said that I looked pregnant … and that’ll just trigger me to just starve a little bit — just stop eating.” Taylor added, “It’s only happened a few times, and I’m not in any way proud of it.”
The Cats star opened up to Variety about her decision to finally discuss her eating disorder in the film. “I didn’t know if I was going to feel comfortable with talking about body image and talking about the stuff I’ve gone through in terms of how unhealthy that’s been for me — my relationship with food and all that over the years,” she said, explaining that she decided to talk about it because she trusted director Lana Wilson to tell the story the right way.
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“I’m not as articulate as I should be about this topic because there are so many people who could talk about it in a better way,” the “Delicate” singer continued. “But all I know is my own experience. And my relationship with food was exactly the same psychology that I applied to everything else in my life: If I was given a pat on the head, I registered that as good. If I was given a punishment, I registered that as bad.”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
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Taylor said, “I remember how, when I was 18, that was the first time I was on the cover of a magazine,” she says. “And the headline was like ‘Pregnant at 18?’ And it was because I had worn something that made my lower stomach look not flat. So I just registered that as a punishment.”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
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She continued, “And then I’d walk into a photo shoot and be in the dressing room and somebody who worked at a magazine would say, ‘Oh, wow, this is so amazing that you can fit into the sample sizes. Usually we have to make alterations to the dresses, but we can take them right off the runway and put them on you!’ And I looked at that as a pat on the head. You register that enough times, and you just start to accommodate everything towards praise and punishment, including your own body.”
Photo credit: Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/Shutterstock
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Taylor admitted, “I think I’ve never really wanted to talk about that before, and I’m pretty uncomfortable talking about it now.”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
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The film compares how thin Taylor was during her
1989 tour in 2015 to how much stronger she looked three years later when
she toured Reputation. The “Daylight” singer admitted in the film that undereating was affecting her performance on tour.
Photo credit: Jim Smeal/Shutterstock
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“I thought that I was supposed to feel like I was going to pass out at the end of a show, or in the middle of it,” she said in the film. “Now I realize, no, if you eat food, have energy, get stronger, you can do all these shows and not feel [enervated].”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
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Now, she doesn’t care if people comment on her weight gain and she’s ok with “the fact that I’m a size 6 instead of a size double-zero.” Taylor said that when people did worry about that she was too thin, she would say, “‘What are you talking about? Of course I eat. …. I exercise a lot.’ And I did exercise a lot. But I wasn’t eating.”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
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Taylor also recently admitted that she decided not to do a full tour of her 2019 album,
Lover, because of her mom
Andrea’s battle with cancer. Andrea, 62, has been battling breast cancer and
recently learned she has a brain tumor.
Photo credit: INSTARImages
“I’m not as articulate as I should be about this topic because there are so many people who could talk about it in a better way,” the “Delicate” singer continued. “But all I know is my own experience. And my relationship with food was exactly the same psychology that I applied to everything else in my life: If I was given a pat on the head, I registered that as good. If I was given a punishment, I registered that as bad.”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
Taylor said, “I remember how, when I was 18, that was the first time I was on the cover of a magazine,” she says. “And the headline was like ‘Pregnant at 18?’ And it was because I had worn something that made my lower stomach look not flat. So I just registered that as a punishment.”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
She continued, “And then I’d walk into a photo shoot and be in the dressing room and somebody who worked at a magazine would say, ‘Oh, wow, this is so amazing that you can fit into the sample sizes. Usually we have to make alterations to the dresses, but we can take them right off the runway and put them on you!’ And I looked at that as a pat on the head. You register that enough times, and you just start to accommodate everything towards praise and punishment, including your own body.”
Photo credit: Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/Shutterstock
Taylor admitted, “I think I’ve never really wanted to talk about that before, and I’m pretty uncomfortable talking about it now.”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
The film compares how thin Taylor was during her
1989 tour in 2015 to how much stronger she looked three years later when
she toured Reputation. The “Daylight” singer admitted in the film that undereating was affecting her performance on tour.
Photo credit: Jim Smeal/Shutterstock
“I thought that I was supposed to feel like I was going to pass out at the end of a show, or in the middle of it,” she said in the film. “Now I realize, no, if you eat food, have energy, get stronger, you can do all these shows and not feel [enervated].”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
Now, she doesn’t care if people comment on her weight gain and she’s ok with “the fact that I’m a size 6 instead of a size double-zero.” Taylor said that when people did worry about that she was too thin, she would say, “‘What are you talking about? Of course I eat. …. I exercise a lot.’ And I did exercise a lot. But I wasn’t eating.”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
Taylor also recently admitted that she decided not to do a full tour of her 2019 album,
Lover, because of her mom
Andrea’s battle with cancer. Andrea, 62, has been battling breast cancer and
recently learned she has a brain tumor.
Photo credit: INSTARImages
