Paris Jackson ‘Knows She Has So Much to Live For’ After Surviving Addiction and Personal Struggles

During a Nov. 10 TikTok, Paris Jackson got very candid about a hole she has in her nose that was caused by years of drug abuse. “I have what is called a perforated septum,” she said during the two-minute clip, while holding her phone’s flashlight to her nasal passage. “It’s what you think it’s from,” she continued, likely referring to snorting cocaine and other substances, before warning fans to avoid drugs. “They ruined my life.”

It’s not the first time the 27-year-old model-musician and daughter of the late King of Pop Michael Jackson has talked about her troubled past. In January, Paris revealed on Instagram she struggled with addictions to alcohol and heroin before getting sober in 2020. And in a shocking 2017 revelation, she told Rolling Stone that some of her tattoos cover up track marks on her body from intravenous drug use. “Everyone knows Paris has been to hell and back,” a source tells Star, noting that she began spiraling after the 2009 death of her father. Now, she’s proud of her sobriety and is determined to maintain it no matter what. “Paris puts her recovery at the front and center of her life,” says the source. “She’ll do whatever it takes to avoid going down that dark and dangerous path again.”

Sad Spiral

Paris was just 11 when her dad went into cardiac arrest after taking a lethal injection of the drug propofol at the age of 50. “Michael’s death was devastating for the whole family, and Paris took it especially badly,” says the source. (Paris has two brothers: Prince, 28, and Bigi, 23. She and Prince share mom Debbie Rowe; Bigi was born to an unknown surrogate.) “A lot of Paris’ friends will say that’s when her problems started.” She soon fell in with the wrong crowd at Buckley, her exclusive private school in Sherman Oaks, Calif. “[I started hanging out with] a lot of older people doing a lot of crazy things,” she told Rolling Stone of that time. “I was doing a lot of things that 13-, 14-, 15-year-olds shouldn’t do. I tried to grow up too fast.”

In 2013, she was hospitalized and spent time in a treatment facility after she tried to take her own life by ingesting 20 Motrin tablets and slashing her wrist. She later confessed it had been her third suicide attempt, and that she’d been abusing drugs and self-harming. She also said she was still grieving her dad. “They always say, ‘Time heals,’” she later said. “But it really doesn’t.” In 2019, she checked herself into a rehab facility to focus on her mental health, per ABC News.

The Calvin Klein model offered a glimpse of what her life was like during the throes of her addiction in her January Instagram post. She shared photos of her from before she got clean that show her partying with a bottle of whiskey at 10 a.m., having liquor poured into her mouth and crying with a dazed look in her eyes. In shots from after she got clean, Paris goes rock climbing and dances with pals. “It’s because I’m sober that I get to smile today. I get to make music… I get to laugh,” she wrote. After all she’s been through, says the source, the “Let Down” singer sees her tattoos and perforated septum as reminders of how things were. “They’re symbolic,” says the source, adding, “they’ve become battle scars.” (In her TikTok, Paris noted she won’t fix her nose because painkillers for the “gnarly” surgery could threaten her sobriety.)

Not Giving Up

While Paris is proud of her sobriety, there were some relapse fears following her split from her music producer fiancé Justin Long in July after three years together, but friends rallied around her. “Paris has a tight group of friends and family members and they were all quick to jump in,” says the source. “She pulled through,” adds the source, “which proved how strong her commitment to sobriety actually is.”

Sharing her horror stories is one way she hopes to help others. “She wants people to know there’s a path forward when all seems to be lost,” says the source. And she’s grateful for how far she’s come. She’s been earning rave reviews for her intimate singer-songwriter sets while opening for the band Queens of the Stone Age, and her forthcoming album is produced by music bigwig Linda Perry. “Paris knows she has so much to live for,” says the source. “She loves making music and she’s living her best life with people she cares about. She wants to be the best version of herself.”