Ariana Madix got real about her depression during the Tuesday, February 11 episode of Vanderpump Rules. The 34-year-old confessed to Lisa Vanderpump that she was worried that she was experiencing suicidal thoughts and that she had considered driving her car off a cliff.
During the episode, Ariana visited Lisa, 59, at her house. “I’ve been worried about you since we spoke,” Lisa said, referencing a previous conversation they’d had about Ariana’s mental health.
Lisa continued, “Having been through such chronic depression myself, but mine was more circumstantial because of losing my brother, I just didn’t do well at all. I was such a mess. I was trying to hold everything together.” Lisa lost her brother Mark in 2018 when he died by suicide. She dealt with the emotional fall out of his loss on VPR and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
“I started to have really dark thoughts [after his death],” Lisa admitted, which worried Ariana because she was experiencing the same thing.
1 of 7
Photo credit: INSTARImages
She explained, “I always thought that that was so far out of the anything that I would ever do but like three weeks ago, four weeks ago I remember driving my car on the freeway and I thought, ‘What if I just drove it off the edge? What if I just did that?’ How is that a real thought?”
2 of 7
Photo credit: INSTARImages
Ariana revealed she felt bad bringing her mental health issues around her boyfriend,
Tom Sandoval, saying, “I don’t want to drag Tom into my bulls**t.”
3 of 7
Photo credit: INSTARImages
“But I don't think it is bulls**t and I think when you have a partner that’s part of who you are.” Lisa said.
4 of 7
Photo credit: INSTARImages
Ariana said that she’d been feeling this way for months and had hoped that moving out of their old apartment into a new house would help it go away, but it didn’t. The camera showed all the unpacked boxes that still littered her home with Tom, 36.
5 of 7
Photo credit: INSTARImages
“There’s an underlying feeling of … despair at times. It happens more often when I’m not busy,” she said. Lisa offered to let her bartend at SUR a couple days a week just so she had something to keep her occupied. Ariana admitted it was hard to find reasons to take a shower and put on makeup and accepted the offer.
6 of 7
Photo credit: MEGA
7 of 7
Photo credit: INSTARImages
“I feel better now that people know because I’m living truthfully,” she told the camera.
She explained, “I always thought that that was so far out of the anything that I would ever do but like three weeks ago, four weeks ago I remember driving my car on the freeway and I thought, ‘What if I just drove it off the edge? What if I just did that?’ How is that a real thought?”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
Ariana revealed she felt bad bringing her mental health issues around her boyfriend,
Tom Sandoval, saying, “I don’t want to drag Tom into my bulls**t.”
Photo credit: INSTARImages
“But I don't think it is bulls**t and I think when you have a partner that’s part of who you are.” Lisa said.
Photo credit: INSTARImages
Ariana said that she’d been feeling this way for months and had hoped that moving out of their old apartment into a new house would help it go away, but it didn’t. The camera showed all the unpacked boxes that still littered her home with Tom, 36.
Photo credit: INSTARImages
“There’s an underlying feeling of … despair at times. It happens more often when I’m not busy,” she said. Lisa offered to let her bartend at SUR a couple days a week just so she had something to keep her occupied. Ariana admitted it was hard to find reasons to take a shower and put on makeup and accepted the offer.
Photo credit: INSTARImages
“I feel better now that people know because I’m living truthfully,” she told the camera.
Photo credit: INSTARImages
