The end of 2010 was a dark time for Demi Lovato, as she left her tour with the Jonas Brothers and entered rehab for “emotional and physical issues,” which she later revealed to be bulimia, cutting and bipolar disorder. The singer has been open about her struggle and recovery, but now admits that she almost fell off the wagon just a year and a half ago.
“I almost went back to rehab for my eating disorder last summer,” she tells Fitness magazine. “I was obsessing over food and terrified of it at the same time. [My boyfriend] Wilmer [Valderrama] called me out on it, which was a relief. I was done being afraid of food and so tired of overeating and not knowing why I was doing it. Now I’m on a structured meal plan. I eat four meals and two snacks a day. It’s teaching me portion control.”
Still, the “Really Don’t Care” singer says there’s still tough days, but she’s finding ways to get through them. “My trainer will make me look in the mirror while I’m lifting weights or doing squats so I can watch my muscles forming,” she explains. “It’s encouraging to see myself getting stronger. Now I get excited about seeing muscle instead of bones.”
And after years of struggle, the 22-year-old has finally learned to appreciate her body. “It helps to remind myself how far I’ve come,” she reveals. “I recently saw pictures from my first tour, and I spent that whole summer performing in the heat in a red leather jacket because I was ashamed to show my arms. And that was when I was 105 pounds! This tour, I’ve had the confidence to show my arms at every single concert. It may seem like a small thing, but for me, it’s huge.”