Tearful Ariana Grande Calls 2018 ‘Worst’ Year Of Her Life

When Ariana, 25, was greeted with a standing ovation, she laughed it off. “You don’t have to stand, that’s so weird, thank you,” she said

She thanked Billboard for putting together the event to celebrate women in music and try to “even out the playing field.”

Of the award, the “God Is A Woman” singer said, “I feel completely undeserving.”

“This is really special,” she continued. “I want to say that I find it interesting that this has been one of the best years in my career and, like, the worst of my life.”

“I'm not saying that for sympathy,” Ariana explained. “I'm just saying that because I feel like a lot of people would look at someone in my position right now, I guess, like Woman of the Year, an artist that could be at her peak, like reaching her, you know, whatever, and think, ‘She's really got her shit together, you know, like, she's really on it, she's got it all.’”

“I do, but as far as my personal life goes, I really have no idea what the f— I am doing,” she said as the audience laughed. “So yeah, it's been a very conflicting one. And I just want to say that if you're someone out there who has no idea what this next chapter is going to bring, you're not alone in that.”

Then, the “No Tears Left To Cry” singer started to tear up and said, “Eww I’m not gonna cry. That’s really stupid. I have to pull back immediately.” The crowd laughed at that, too.

She also teased her new album, which she promised would be like if First Wives Club were an album.

The “Breathin” singer finished with some intentions for 2019. “I look forward to hopefully learning to give some of the love and forgiveness that I’ve given away so frivolously and easily to men in the past to myself this year,” she said.

Star readers will remember that while Ariana’s album Sweetener and singles hit huge heights, her personal life was a mess. She broke up with Mac Miller and quickly got engaged to Pete Davidson. In September, Mac died of a tragic overdose, and Ariana and Pete broke up in October.

Her newest song, “Thank U, Next,” reflected on the men she loved and how far she’s come in the last few years. It became her first Billboard Hot 100 number one hit.