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Dean McDermott Quits 'True Tori,' Talks Suicidal Thoughts

Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott get some healthy drinks at a local store in Malibu

Credit: Picture by: JD / Splash News

For a show all about Tori Spelling mending her relationship, True Tori is about to lose one very important cast member! Dean McDermott revealed on Wednesday that he is quitting the Lifetime series, which began last Spring after it was revealed he cheated on his wife.

“I’m not going to continue with the show,” he told Access Hollywood. “We have five more shows left…I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep opening a vein, opening my soul and sharing my feelings and thoughts and demons with the world. I don’t watch it. I can’t. It’s really difficult…I can’t do it anymore…for my soul.”

Still, he added that the show wasn’t all bad. “The show has been great,” he said. “I’ve learned a lot of things about myself, my relationship. It’s not all doom and gloom. There’s a lot of good in the show.”

The Chopped Canada host’s affair was reported earlier this year, and he and Tori have been working on their relationship ever since. Things are a bit better for the couple now, but after the news broke, Dean says he was in a dark place…even contemplating suicide. “I don’t ever want to be in that dark place again where I wanted to take my life,” he admitted. “I was driving around in my truck with a loaded 9 mm. I was put on a 5150 at the UCLA psych ward. [My son] Liam had a performance and I didn’t want to miss that performance…I had plans that night to do it.”

Still, Dean has positive thoughts for the future. “I believe [our marriage will survive],” he revealed. “I hold out a lot of hope. If you don’t have hope what do you have? I love this woman, regardless of what I’ve done. I love her and want to be with her. I want to grow old with her…at this moment, she feels the exact same way.”

MORE LINKS

Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott’s Vasectomy Drama

Tori Spelling Breaks Down in Tears Over Money Problems

Tori Praises Dean in New Blog Post “We Are Doing Really Well”