James Van Der Beek and his wife Kimberly welcomed a baby girl this June, and their joy was effervescent. But now, the Pose actor is opening up about his wife’s struggles with miscarriage in an attempt to end the stigma around the all too common occurrence. Click through the gallery to see what he had to say.
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James, 41, took to Instagram to share their story. “Wanted to say a thing or two about miscarriages... of which we’ve had three over the years (including right before this little beauty). First off - we need a new word for it.”
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“‘Mis-carriage,’ in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother - as if she dropped something, or failed to ‘carry.’ From what I’ve learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do. So let’s wipe all blame off the table before we even start.”
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He continued, “Second... it will tear you open like nothing else. It’s painful and it’s heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced. So don’t judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it its rightful space. And then... once you’re able... try to recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before.”
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“Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts. Many couples become closer than ever before. Many parents realize a deeper desire for a child than ever before. And many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards - you’ve been warned ?).”
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James would know, since he and Kimberly have five kids — Olivia, 7 1/2, Joshua, 6, Annabel, 4, Emilia, 2, and Gwendolyn, almost three months old. They married in 2010.
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He finished his post asking for people to come up with new names for miscarriage. Fans flooded his comments with support and their own stories.
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What do you think of James’ story about his wife’s miscarriages? Let us know in the comments!
James, 41, took to Instagram to share their story. “Wanted to say a thing or two about miscarriages... of which we’ve had three over the years (including right before this little beauty). First off - we need a new word for it.”
“‘Mis-carriage,’ in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother - as if she dropped something, or failed to ‘carry.’ From what I’ve learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do. So let’s wipe all blame off the table before we even start.”
He continued, “Second... it will tear you open like nothing else. It’s painful and it’s heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced. So don’t judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it its rightful space. And then... once you’re able... try to recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before.”
“Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts. Many couples become closer than ever before. Many parents realize a deeper desire for a child than ever before. And many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards - you’ve been warned ?).”
James would know, since he and Kimberly have five kids — Olivia, 7 1/2, Joshua, 6, Annabel, 4, Emilia, 2, and Gwendolyn, almost three months old. They married in 2010.
He finished his post asking for people to come up with new names for miscarriage. Fans flooded his comments with support and their own stories.
What do you think of James’ story about his wife’s miscarriages? Let us know in the comments!
