Khloe Kardashian Admits to Enabling Ex Lamar Odom, Recalls When His Addiction Turned Into a ‘Dark Situation’

Khloé Kardashian is looking back on a tumultuous time in her marriage to Lamar Odom.

In the Netflix documentary Untold: The Death and Life of Lamar Odom (out Tuesday, March 31), the former professional basketball player, 46, shed light on his problematic drug use, which eventually led to his 2015 hospitalization after being discovered unconscious in a Nevada brothel.

“That first hit of cocaine that I took was amazing,” the former Los Angeles Lakers player said in the new documentary, which explores his rise to NBA fame and the challenges he faced along the way.

“Do I regret it? F**k yeah,” he admitted. “I know cocaine is not the way to go, but it’s a high that feels so good you wish you can capture it and put it in a bottle.”

The Keeping Up With the Kardashians alum, 41 — who was married to Odom from 2009 to 2016 following his split from ex Liza Morales — slowly began to realize he had substance abuse issues during their marriage.

“At the beginning, it was a recreational party use,” she said. “As silly as this sounds, it seemed responsibly done, and I think it was two years in, around June, he disappeared.”

“I really thought maybe something happened to him,” said Kardashian, explaining that Odom blamed his problems on the death of his son Jayden at 6 months old from sudden infant death syndrome.

“That was the first time I was like, ‘Okay, this is something I’ve never experienced,’” said the Kardashians star. “This is a dark situation, and I don’t know what to do.”

Kardashian detailed that Odom’s drug use was troubling, but she admitted that at times, she was enabling the athlete.

“I was either looking for him in alleys, looking for him in motels,” she said. “He would have tinfoil cutouts or spoons and [be] freebasing things and leaving things everywhere. I remember needing to go to hotel rooms to clean up after him so the housekeeping didn’t sell a story. I was such an enabler without knowing I was an enabler.”

“But I just felt such a responsibility to cover this up, hold it together and protect him,” she said. “When I really discovered that there was a problem, he was like, ‘You cannot tell anyone. I’ll lose it all. And if I lost it, where are we gonna live? What are we gonna do?’ At the time I was 24. I’m still trying to figure out my life. I had the show, but we weren’t making money like that.”

“I remember just keeping all these secrets and feeling horrible about myself,” she confessed. “I didn’t sleep for years.”

The father of three — who shares Jayden, daughter Destiny, now 27, and Lamar Jr., now 23, with ex Morales — and Kardashian split in December 2013. Their divorce was finalized three years later in December 2016.