It’s been a rough few months for Lea Michele, who lost her costar and off-screen boyfriend, Cory Monteith, to an accidental drug overdose in July. The actress has been fairly candid while talking about the actor’s sudden passing in magazine interviews, and now, in an interview with Ellen DeGeneres airing Thursday, she spoke on camera about losing him.
Of course, it’s hard enough to go through the Glee star’s situation in private, but she had to do so in front of the cameras. “It’s pretty intense,” Lea admitted. “If you smile, it’s like, ‘she’s so happy!’ and if you look sad, it’s like, ‘she’s terrible.’ It’s hard to have so many different emotions and have people watching every step of the way. But to have that time at [Kate Hudson’s] home to just really be private with this for a moment, before getting back to work, before going home…I’m so thankful to her [for that].”
Just weeks after Cory’s death, the 27-year-old and her fellow Glee cast members were back on set. “What people don’t understand is that going to work is no harder than being at home, and being in the house…and opening up the closet and seeing a pair of shoes,” she explained. “Grief comes with you everyday, whatever you’re doing — when there’s great moments and when there’s hard moments. So, for me, I’d rather be at work with the people that I love who are going through the same thing. It obviously has it’s own triggers, but at the end of the day, I feel so safe there.”
During the interview, Ellen reminisced on her own experience with the late actor, and how it was on her show that he first admitted to his relationship. Lea smiled at the comment, noting that it made her so happy because Cory was usuallysuch a private person. “I literally lived every day of my life feeling like the luckiest girl in the whole world,” she gushed. “I just thought he was the greatest man. That moment and that memory just means so much to me.”
While grieving, Lea has also been hard at work on her debut album, Louder. Earlier this week, she released its debut single, “Cannonball,” which she performed for the first time on Ellen’s talk show. Check it out: