Sarah Hyland is speaking out about the mental health struggles she’s experienced while dealing with her chronic illnesses. The Modern Family star told Ellen DeGeneres that she considered suicide because of the constant pain she was in. She even wrote suicide letters mentally to her loved ones. Click through the gallery for all the info — and to find out why the actress is opening up now.
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Photo credit: MEGA
“I was very, very, very close,” the 28-year-old
told Ellen. “I would write letters in my head to loved ones — of why I did it, my reasoning behind it, how it’s nobody’s fault. And I didn’t want to write it down on paper because I didn’t want anyone to find it.”
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“At the time, I was 26, and after 26, 27 years of always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day and you don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day, it’s really, really hard,” she explained.
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Sarah’s kidneys did not develop properly in the womb, a condition called kidney dysplasia. They frequently form painful cysts. She had a kidney transplant in October 2016, using an organ donated by her dad. But her body rejected the kidney.
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After months of dialysis that led to dramatic weight loss, she received her brother’s kidney in September 2017.
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Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of her health struggles. She also has endometriosis and an abdominal hernia. Sarah told Ellen she’s had six surgeries in the last 17 months.
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Sarah also has gout. “I’ve been through a lot of pain [and] it’s one of the most painful things I’ve ever had,” Sarah told Ellen, 60, about the disease.
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Thankfully, Sarah eventually decided she needed to go to therapy. “I’d been saying, ‘I think I need to go see a therapist again,’ And they were like, ‘Why do you need to go see a therapist, you can just talk to me?’” she said of her support system. “And when I said it out loud they were like, ‘Oh you need to go see a therapist!’ And that’s when I was like, ‘Okay, I don’t think you’re going to help me. I think I need to really do this on my own and really do even more digging and soul searching.’”
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Photo credit: MEGA
“Just saying it out loud helped immensely because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time. And saying it out loud really helped me,” Sarah admitted. “Every person with their anxiety, or depression, or suicidal thoughts, every individual is different. So I wouldn’t rely on everything I say, I’m just sharing my story. But I think talking to someone and saying it out loud really, really makes it sound almost ridiculous and puts everything in perspective.”
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Photo credit: MEGA
“I was very, very, very close,” the 28-year-old
told Ellen. “I would write letters in my head to loved ones — of why I did it, my reasoning behind it, how it’s nobody’s fault. And I didn’t want to write it down on paper because I didn’t want anyone to find it.”
“At the time, I was 26, and after 26, 27 years of always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day and you don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day, it’s really, really hard,” she explained.
Sarah’s kidneys did not develop properly in the womb, a condition called kidney dysplasia. They frequently form painful cysts. She had a kidney transplant in October 2016, using an organ donated by her dad. But her body rejected the kidney.
After months of dialysis that led to dramatic weight loss, she received her brother’s kidney in September 2017.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of her health struggles. She also has endometriosis and an abdominal hernia. Sarah told Ellen she’s had six surgeries in the last 17 months.
Sarah also has gout. “I’ve been through a lot of pain [and] it’s one of the most painful things I’ve ever had,” Sarah told Ellen, 60, about the disease.
Thankfully, Sarah eventually decided she needed to go to therapy. “I’d been saying, ‘I think I need to go see a therapist again,’ And they were like, ‘Why do you need to go see a therapist, you can just talk to me?’” she said of her support system. “And when I said it out loud they were like, ‘Oh you need to go see a therapist!’ And that’s when I was like, ‘Okay, I don’t think you’re going to help me. I think I need to really do this on my own and really do even more digging and soul searching.’”
“Just saying it out loud helped immensely because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time. And saying it out loud really helped me,” Sarah admitted. “Every person with their anxiety, or depression, or suicidal thoughts, every individual is different. So I wouldn’t rely on everything I say, I’m just sharing my story. But I think talking to someone and saying it out loud really, really makes it sound almost ridiculous and puts everything in perspective.”