Since Cory Monteith’s unexpected drug overdose in July, his girlfriend Lea Michele has not held back from publicly sharing what she’s gone through. In a new interview with Glamour UK, though, the actress got more candid than ever about the experience, what her plans for the future were with Cory, and if she’s ready to date again.
“At the start, it’s hard, because you’re so physically and mentally shocked and damaged, but after a while, you get tired of feeling physically so horrendous,” she admitted. “I started doing yoga, which really helped. Then, gradually, your mind catches up with your body. Now I feel a bit more back together and I have this blank canvas in front of me, which is what my life can be. There’s something sad about that, but also something good, because I will take that blank canvas and make something out of it.”
As she’s said before, the 27-year-old reiterated that she still feels her Glee costar’s presence. “I feel physically and emotionally very strong,” she said. “You don’t know how strong you are until you have to be. I lost my grandfather a couple of years ago, and I always feel that he’s watching over me. I feel the exact same way about Cory. Every day when I go running, I feel like he’s pushing me to run harder.”
At the time of Cory’s tragic passing, it was rumored that he was planning to propose to Lea in the near future. Now, she’s revealed that they most certainly did plan a future together. “We talked about a lot of things,” she remembered. “We talked about children and what we would look like when we grew old and who would be fat and how we would stay thin. We talked about where we wanted to go and what we wanted to do. We were done. We were it. When you’re at that place in your life with someone, you talk about everything. But today, I feel like I was given the best part of Cory, and I’m thankful for that.”
It’s been more than seven months, but the Glee star added that she’s still not ready to move on romantically. “I’ve only ever had serious relationships, so it’s an adjustment putting myself back into a place of being alone,” she admitted. “I was under a Cory Monteith spell…it’ll take time to readjust my mind and I’m really not wanting to do that right now. I feel like it’s important to make sure I’m 100% okay before I get into a relationship. But people have to understand that I can’t be alone forever. Cory wouldn’t want that.”
Luckily, she’s got a lot to keep her busy for a while. Her debut album Louder comes out on Tuesday, and filming for Glee will continue.